Animals jokes

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dog days
What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver!
frog's dream
A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is gonna meet a young girl.
The teller tells him, “ Yes, you are.”
The frog replies, “Where? In a bar or at a party?”
The teller says, “In biology class!”
snail charity
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail.

"Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading.

A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail.

"What'd you do that for?"

when cats are like men
  • They are independent.
  • They don't listen.
  • They don't come in when you call.
  • They like to stay out all night.
  • When you are trying to get things done, they want your attention.
  • When they are home, they like to be left alone and sleep.

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