Animals jokes

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blondog
 
 
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

From chasing parked cars!

penguin and the mechanic
 
 
Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping.

He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."

shepherd to shepherd
 
 
What did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd?

Let's get the flock out of here!

the three ugly ducklings
 
 
One day in a small redneck town in the middle of nowhere sat a lonely bartender in an empty bar. As he was getting ready to close down, three ducks walked through the front doors. They waddled on over to the bar and grabbed a stool.

The bartender walked over them looked at the first duck and said, 'How was your day?'

'Not too bad, since I was in and out of puddles all day,' replied the duck.
'What is your name?' the bartender asked.
'Hewy, and I'll have a beer.'

The bartender asks the next duck the same question and gets the same answer, that his day was pretty good because he was in and out of puddles all day, and his name was Dewy.

The bartender looks at the third duck and says, 'Let me guess your name is Lewy' The duck looked up at him with a tired look on his face and said, 'My name is puddles, and don't ask me how my bloody day was!'


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