Animals jokes

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that's really, really nasty & practical
 
 
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious.

"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"

"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

thanksgiving turkey
 
 
One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Without hesitation my freind knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, 'He gave you the bird!"

dead ant
 
 
Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant?
A: DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT.......
Q: What did the elephant say when it saw a live ant?
A: It stepped on the ant and then said DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT....
shark attack
 
 
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.


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