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elephant physiology
 
 
Why do elephants have four feet?

Because six inches isn't enough!

the classic joke that sucks
 
 
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the other side!

a tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...
 
 
A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like bronze statue of a rat.

He asks the salesmen, "How much?"

The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."

The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."

As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.

The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats jumped after it and drowned.

The tourist walked back to the store.

The salesmen says, "Came back for the story, eh?"

The tourist replies, "No but I was wondering, do you have a statue of a Republican?"

bug's mind
 
 
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

It's ass.

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