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gorilla boogies
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers!
stumpy legged pink dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”

50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.

Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.

Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”

The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.”

rover the brick
A policeman is walking down the road when he sees a man with a brick tied to a dog leash. He decides to go and humor him. He walks up to the man and says, 'Hello, sir, I like your dog!'

The man looks at the brick, then the policeman, and says, 'It's not a dog, it's a brick.'

The policeman replies, 'Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bit mad,' and walks off rather puzzled.

As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the brick and says, 'That fooled him, didn't it Rover?'

crazy little critters...
Q. How do crabs leave the hospital?
A. On crotches!

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