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the praying parrot
 
 
A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot.

One day the women was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. 'I have a female parrot and she's just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She's the most foul mouthed creature I've ever heard,' he sighed. 'Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.'

The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman's parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him. The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, 'Hot damn!! This is what I've been praying for!!'

cat hospital
 
 
Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?

A: To have a cat-scan done.

kangaroo + leap year =
 
 
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A leap year!

mad cows
 
 
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"

The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"


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