Animals jokes

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that's really, really nasty & practical
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious.

"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"

"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

i think i'm a moth
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."

The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."

The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?"

And the guy says, "Your light was on."

dead ant
Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant?
Q: What did the elephant say when it saw a live ant?
A: It stepped on the ant and then said DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT....
of elephants and marshmallows
Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

Because he didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate.

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