Animals jokes

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the chicken was never this clever
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

A: To get to the Shell station

for my next trick...
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor?

A: It drove down the lane and turned into a field.

technology-enabled amoebas
How do amoebas keep in touch?

With cell phones.
golfer goes to the emergency room
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

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