Animals jokes

Two little snakes were hissing near their pit. The mother snake came out and said, 'What are you doing hissing near our pit. If you want to hiss go over to Mrs. Pott's pit and hiss. The two little snakes went over to Mrs. Pott's pit to hiss. Mrs. Potts came out and said, 'Hey you two little snakes, what are you doing hissing near my pit? If you want to hiss, go back over to your own pit and hiss!' The two little snakes went back to their own pit to hiss. Their mother came out and said, 'What are you doing hissing near our pit? I thought I told you to go over to Mrs. Pott's house to hiss. They said, Mrs. Potts said if we wanted to hiss we had to go back to our own pit to hiss. The mother snake said, 'Well, I knew Mrs. Potts before she had a pit to hiss in.'

A zebra went up to the zookeeper and said, "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes." The zookeeper looks at the zebra with a puzzling look and says, "I don't know why don't you go ask God." The zebra then went to ask God who said "You are what you are, young zebra." So the zebra went back to the zookeper who asks the zebra what God had said. The zebra replied, "God said 'you are what you are." The zookeeper then said, "Well then you must be a white zebra with black stripes because if you were a black zebra with whites stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."

A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day and asks, "Dad, am I a pure polar bear—you know, not part black bear, brown bear, or grizzly bear?" "Why no, son. You come from a long line of proud and strong polar bears. Why do you ask?" "Because I'm really really cold."

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.