Animals jokes

What do cows do for fun?
They go to MOO-vies!

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, 'It has a long neck.' One kid answered, "Giraffe!" Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra. Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. 'This animal has stripes.' "Zebra!" one kid answered. So she put up another one, that of a deer. The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them 'what does your mother call your father?' Suddenly one child got up and answered 'HORNY BASTARD!'

Why was the rooster so unhappy?

Because he only got laid once and it was by his mother.

A football player walked into a motel on a rainy night. He asked the manager for a room for one night. The manager said, "I only have one room left and I don't think you want it." The football player asked, "why not." "It's haunted," the manager said. The football player said, "Well, I'll kill the ghost or whatever is in it." The manager said "OK!"

That night when the football player was just getting settled, he heard a voice. He listened and heard it again and it said, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.'

With that he ran out of the room screaming.
The next night a woman came in and wanted a room. The manager did not argue with this because there were still no rooms left except for that one. So she got the key and went to her room. As she got settled in she heard, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.' She walked around and realized it was coming fron the bathroom. She looked in the toilet and saw three ants singing on a turd, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.'