Animals jokes

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love stinks
What happened to the blind skunk?

He fell in love with a fart.

indian promiscuity
A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair.

"How did you get that feather?" the woman asked.

"I screw one squaw," the Indian said.

Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw," he said.

Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her.

"My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered.

"Oh dear!" said the woman.

The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."

lion, tiger, lawyer, elevator
Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.
lucky frog
I decided to take a day off from work and go golfing. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, 'Ribbit. Nine iron.'

That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a nine iron, and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazing! So I picked up the frog and headed to the fifth hole. I asked the frog what club to used and it said, 'Ribbit. Three wood.' I used that club and sunk another hole-in-one! I continued an amazing round of golf. At the end, I asked the frog where we should go next. 'Ribbit. Vegas.'

So we went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. 'Ribbit. Roulette.'

So we went up to the roulette table, and I asked the frog how much I should wager. 'Ribbit. Three thousand dollars.'

It was a lot of money, but I ponied up anyway. Needless to say, I won big! I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. Once we were up there, I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. 'Ribbit. Kiss me.'

I figured, what the hell, it's just a frog. So I kissed the frog, and it turned into a 15-year old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, and if I'm lying, my name's not William Jefferson Clinton.

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