Animals jokes

Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, 'Straight, straight, curly.'

A policeman is walking down the road when he sees a man with a brick tied to a dog leash. He decides to go and humor him. He walks up to the man and says, 'Hello, sir, I like your dog!'

The man looks at the brick, then the policeman, and says, 'It's not a dog, it's a brick.'

The policeman replies, 'Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bit mad,' and walks off rather puzzled.

As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the brick and says, 'That fooled him, didn't it Rover?'

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
Becase he was a party pooper.