Animals jokes

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos, intent on killing him. But in their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests. For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman, with whom the cowboy spent the night. The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled "You stupid horse! I said POSSE!"

What does a fish smoke?

Sea weed

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter.

"That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor.

"Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly.

"Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?"

"Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"