Animals jokes

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sheep soup
 
 
There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site. The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favourite meal being beef soup.

But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place.

At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup.

During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delite that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces.

The chef asked, "What's the matter boys, did I screw up the cooking?"

"No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the screwing."

the cowboy and his horse
 
 
A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos, intent on killing him. But in their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests. For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman, with whom the cowboy spent the night. The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled "You stupid horse! I said POSSE!"
fish smoking
 
 
What does a fish smoke?

Sea weed

crossbred dogs
 
 

Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.

Bull Terrier x Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.

Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

Kerry Blue Terrier x Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.

Great Pyrenees x Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.

Pekingnese x Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.

Irish Water Spaniel x English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.

Labrador Retriever x Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.

Newfoundland x Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.

Terrier x Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.

Bloodhound x Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.

Collie x Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.

Deerhound x Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.

Cocker Spaniel x Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband.


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