Animals jokes

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let's play monkey in the tree
Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

'Cause he was dead!

snail shanghai
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.

Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.

The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"

yo mama's so dumb...
Yo mama's so dumb she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
what's the difference between a dead lawer ...
Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?

A: There is skid marks before the snake

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