Animals jokes

Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?

A: There is skid marks before the snake

Yo mama so dirty when I walked in her house the rats jumped me and the ants stole my wallet.

What's the difference between a regular toad and a horny toad?

One says, 'Rib-it, rib-it,' while the other says, 'Rub-it, rub-it.'

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.

"Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated."

"Great," says the man. "But what's the gun for?"

"In case I fall down instead of the gorilla -- shoot the dog."