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elephant physiology
 
 
Why do elephants have four feet?

Because six inches isn't enough!

chicken crossfire
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pat Buchanan answers this question: "To steal a job from a decent , hard-working American."

Dr. Seuss answers this question: "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why? It's not been told."

Grandpa answers this question: "In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us."

And Colonel Sanders answers this question: "I missed one?"

blonde & turtle
 
 
Q: What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?

A: They're both screwed on their back.

the aging explorer
 
 
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gun bearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger lept toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."

The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

The old explorer said, "No, not then -- just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"


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