Animals jokes

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Animals


blonde counting sheep
 
 
Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says "If you can count all my sheep I'll let you have any one you want." The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, "You have 356 sheep." The farmer exclaims, "Wow -- you're exactly right. I guess blondes really aren't dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep."

The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."

blonde and goldfish
 
 
A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, 'Now, what do I give them to drink?'
trap a polar bear
 
 
Q: How do you trap a polar bear?

A: You cut a hole in the ice. Line it with peas. When the bear bends over to take a pee, you kick him in the icehole.

elephant innuendo
 
 
Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because in the animal kingdom six inches just doesn't cut it.


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