Animals jokes

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my first time
 
 
My First Time

The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
All alone,
Just her and I.

Her hair so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran me fingers,
down her spine.

I didnt know how,
I tried my best,
To touch her breast.

I remembered my fear,
But slowly she spread,
Her legs apart,
And when she did,
I felt no shame.

All at once,
The white stuff came out!

At last. It's finished.
It's all over...

My first time,

Milking a cow.

those crazy vermont folk
 
 
Why do people in vermont were kilts?

Sheep can hear zippers from a mile away.

a kangaroo walks into a bar. he tells the...
 
 
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."

The bartender does not know how he said this, or why.

a trucker picks up a hitchhiker...
 
 
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.

After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.

The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.

The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification.

When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.

"See that?" said the trucker.

The man said, "Yeah."

The trucker ask the man, "You want to try it?"

The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"


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