Animals jokes

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Animals


lightbulb... mice
 
 
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, if they're small enough.
you do not have to oil animals
 
 
What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!
bear it all
 
 
A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day and asks, "Dad, am I a pure polar bear—you know, not part black bear, brown bear, or grizzly bear?" "Why no, son. You come from a long line of proud and strong polar bears. Why do you ask?" "Because I'm really really cold."
an elderly lady phoned her telephone company
 
 
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.


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