Animals jokes

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Animals


moof
 
 
What goes moof?

A cow with buck teeth.

blondes and cow patties
 
 
What do blondes and cow patties have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

gum crossing
 
 
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because he was stuck to the chicken's bottom.

planet of the apes: secrets revealed
 
 
* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.

* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.

* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.

* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.

* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."

* Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"'s failure at the box office.

* The imagery of the Ape army's red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Heston's idea.)

* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the film's budget.

* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor.

Submitted by: David J. Bleecker
E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com


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