Animals jokes

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Animals


rednecks' dogs
 
 
Q: Why do rednecks' dogs have flat noses?

A: From chasing parked cars...

lawyer vs. water fowl
 
 
Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?

A: Stick his bill up his ass.

the other side
 
 
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.

'Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!'

'Not now! I'm eating.'

'Oh come on!' said the rabbit. 'It's really important.'

'No way.'

'Please. It's urgent.'

So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.

'Well, rabbit,' he panted. 'What did you want to tell me?'

'Hey, Teddy,' the rabbit began, 'look how many berries are on the other side of the river.'

elephant time
 
 
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.

He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"

The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.

"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds.

The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."


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