Animals jokes

The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."

She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.

She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.

She comes back and says, "The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!"

The loan officer says, 'My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'

'Yeah,' says the frog. 'I'd like to borrow some money.'

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. 'Okay,what's your name?'

The frog replies, 'Kermit Jagger.'

'Really?' says the loan officer. 'Any relation to Mick Jagger?'

'Yeah, he's my dad.'

'Hmmm,' says the loan officer. 'Do you have any collateral?'

The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, 'Will this do?'

The loan officer says, 'Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'

'Oh, tell him I said hi,' adds the frog. 'He knows me.'

The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, 'Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'

The manager says: 'It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.'