Animals jokes

Jokes » animals » humor 29

Animals


whale hijinx
 
 
Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, "Hey, why don't we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?"

"Well," says the other whale, "I'll give it a blow job, but I refuse to swallow any sea men!"

i didn't know they had hats
 
 
Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?
So their wives know which end to kiss!
shoot the pig
 
 
A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling — what should I do?'

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"

blonde horse sense
 
 
A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse's tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can't tell them apart again.

She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.

She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.

She comes back and says, "The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!"


Page 30 of 155     «« Previous | Next »»