Animals jokes

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Animals


you're so ugly
 
 
You're so ugly, your mom has to tie a steak around your neck just to get the dog to play with you.
sheep boy
 
 
A man that lives on a farm wakes up and goes outside to find a man screwing one of his sheep and a little boy watching. He walks up to the boy and says 'Who's that screwing my sheep?' The boy replies, 'That's my Daaaaaaaad.'
safe elephant sex
 
 
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?

All your Hefty Bags are missing.

cat hating husband
 
 
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."


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