Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


do it like mammals
 
 
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor," she says, "my husband just doesn't satisfy me sexually anymore." "Hmm," replies the doctor. "Have you considered taking a lover?" "I did that," she says, "and I'm still not getting enough sex to satisfy me." "How about taking another lover?" "I keep trying that. I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still can't seem to get enough." "My goodness," says the doctor, "you're quite an anomaly." "Oh, thank God," says the woman. "Will you please tell them I'm an anomaly? They all keep calling me a slut."
three buttons
 
 
A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied.

The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she said, "the ladies' restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and there was one red button labeled "ATR."

Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the "WW" button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men's restroom didn't have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the "WA" button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the "PP" button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies' room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy.

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

"What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies' restroom on a flight to Atlanta!"

"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked "ATR" is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

sleep now
 
 
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. 'Sleep now, its all right,' he told her.

But she kept trying to sit up and said, 'Honey, I really need to tell you something.'

Finally Jake let her get it off her chest.

'Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father.'

'Don't worry about it,' Jake said, 'I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?'

perry coma
 
 
When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!

"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.

"I think she choked to death," said the husband.


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