Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


men 'n' lightbulbs
 
 
How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, men will screw anything.

tornado and redneck divorce
 
 
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

gloves: joke circa 1890
 
 
A Mismatched Pair of Gloves

A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart, and after much considerstion he decided upon a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a department store and carefully choset a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties. Without checking the contents he sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with this note.

"Dearest Darling, This is a little gift to show you that I have not forgotten your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks, and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked smart. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men's hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love."

He did not realize that the packages had been switched, and that he had unwittingly sent his girlfriend the pair of panties to her sister had just bought.

deathbed confession
 
 
The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous, except for the youngest one, Craig, who was nothing short of gruesome.

While on his deathbed, the husband asked his wife, "Marie, tell me one thing. And please be honest. Am I Craig's father?"

"Yes, honey," replied his wife. "I promise you, Craig is 100 percent yours."

"I can die a happy man. Godbye my love."

And the man peacefully passed away.

Marie gave a big sigh and said quietly, "Thank heaven almighty he didn't ask me about the other three."


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