Men And Women jokes

Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. 'Yep,' he said,' just what I thought, just about the same size.'

The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, 'How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?'

The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. 'What's the matter?' he asked.

She replied, 'You don't think I'm going to fire up this big ass grill for one little weenie, do you?'

He answers that he looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"

"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"

She asked him, 'Honey, what is wrong?'

He replied, 'Well, remember when you were 15 and I was 19, and you got pregnant, and your father said I either have to marry you or go to jail for having sex with a minor?

Well, this is the day I would have gotten out of prison.'