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- Let's watch Lifetime!
- Sex is overrated.
- I don't want to go too far on the first date.
- Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
- There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
- I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
- My hips are too big.
- Aw, can't we watch Oprah?
- Does this suit make me look fat?
- I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.
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He answers that he looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
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"No way," says the wife. "I have to get up in the morning. You don't."
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After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed.
"What happened then?" they asked.
"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'"
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