Men And Women jokes

Adam said, "I am lonely. Could you make me a companion to share my life with?"

God replied, "What do you have in mind?"

Adam said, "I would like a female with beautiful eyes, shiny hair, and soft skin. Someone who will never get tired of me and never argue with me. Someone who I can talk to endlessly about football. You know, someone I will want to be with forever.

God said, "Sure, I can do that for you, however it will cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

"Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street.

She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?"

So she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer."

The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"

"Over the years, I haven't been completely faithful to you."

"When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion," she explained.

The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget her few moments of weakness.

"I'm curious though," he said, "Where did the thirty dollars come from?"

"Oh that, " his wife replied, "Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I sold out!"