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cat in the way
 
 
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.

Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."

isn't she lucky?
 
 
Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

cat on a hot tin roof
 
 
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, 'I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, 'You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.'

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."

who is marylou?!?
 
 
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.

"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."

"Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."'

The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.

"What was that for?" he complained.

"Your dog called last night."


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