Animals jokes

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little nancy's pet
 
 
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

yo mama's so ugly
 
 
Yo' mama so ugly, it takes her a half hour to walk a block -- 'cause she stops at all the hydrants!
ghost story for tots
 
 
A football player walked into a motel on a rainy night. He asked the manager for a room for one night. The manager said, "I only have one room left and I don't think you want it." The football player asked, "why not." "It's haunted," the manager said. The football player said, "Well, I'll kill the ghost or whatever is in it." The manager said "OK!"

That night when the football player was just getting settled, he heard a voice. He listened and heard it again and it said, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.'

With that he ran out of the room screaming.
The next night a woman came in and wanted a room. The manager did not argue with this because there were still no rooms left except for that one. So she got the key and went to her room. As she got settled in she heard, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.' She walked around and realized it was coming fron the bathroom. She looked in the toilet and saw three ants singing on a turd, 'If the log rolls over we all will drown.'

cats -- now and forever
 
 
What are the two things a cat is good for?

Altitude and distance!


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