pegasus, we hardly knew ye
Why did God stop making pegasuses?
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Because it took too long to clean their crap off his windshield.
ducks and elephants
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.
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To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
rabid dogs are useful
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
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Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied.
“I'm sorry,” said Bill, “what happened to her?”
“My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”
Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”
To which the man replied, “Get in line.”
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