Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


mommy almost died
 
 
One day this little girl's dad came home and she runs up to him.

"Daddy, the cat died today!"

"Well, darling," said the dad. "That's just something that happens."

"But why are his arms and legs up in the air?"

"Well, darling, that's just something they do." She takes the death fairly well and doesn't mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.

"Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I came downstairs and I heard her screaming 'Oh Jesus, take me, take me!' And she had her ams and legs up in the air and if it hadn't been for the mailman tring to revive her she would have died."

yo daddy
 
 
Yo daddy is like a mounds bar -- he's got no nuts.
fresh meat
 
 
One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat.
"Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
"See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's."
lawyers vs prostitutes
 
 
How are lawyers like whores?

They both get paid to screw people.


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