Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


punishment in heaven
 
 
Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.

'Why?' he asks.

St. Paul replies, 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, 'When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, 'Thank God I didn't do anything like that.' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, 'Why?'

'Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.'

wonder bra
 
 
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went!

ha, the joke's on you
 
 
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

talking sex
 
 
Why is it when a man talks nasty to a women it's sexual harassment.

But when a women talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute.


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