Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


smoking at gas station
 
 
This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire.

When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
high sperm count
 
 
How do you tell if your boyfriend has a high sperm count?

If you have to chew before you swallow.

sex over-easy
 
 
These two eggs had just been married and were on their honeymoon.

While they were sitting on the bed making out, the female egg pushed the male egg away and said, "I just have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." and off she went.

Five minutes later, the male egg saw his sexy wife walk out in a slinky ‘egg’lige, wiping her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.

Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.

The female egg looked at him and asked what he was doing.

He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon!"

mother-in-law
 
 
A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then he goes back in a couple of times without bringing out anybody.

So a fireman asks him, "Why are you going back in there?"

The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother-in-law."


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