Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


women's tiny feet
 
 
Why are women's feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

change up
 
 
The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row at a Yankees game, surrounded by Secret Service agents. Before the game starts, one of the agents whispers in the president's ear, and Mr. Bush smiles and nods. Then he grabs Laura Bush by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet onto the field, cursing all the way before landing in a heap in the dirt. The president raises his arms triumphantly and gets high-fives from fans all around him. Then the agent leans over again and whispers, "Uh, Mr. President, I said they want you to throw out the first pitch!"
a small problem
 
 
A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?' she asks.

The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, 'I know how to make them larger!'

'How!?!?!?' she asks.

'Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'

'Well how long does it take?' she asks.

'They should expand over the years,' he answers.

'How did you know that?' she wonders.

'I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'

exotic male dancer
 
 
The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and stuck it on his butt.

Not to be outdone, my other friend pulled out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $50 bill and stuck it on his other butt cheek.

Now the attention was focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet and thought for a minute. Then the banker in me took over. I got my ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home.


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