Men And Women jokes

The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, 'I know how to make them larger!'

'How!?!?!?' she asks.

'Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'

'Well how long does it take?' she asks.

'They should expand over the years,' he answers.

'How did you know that?' she wonders.

'I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'

"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."

"So what's the problem?"

"I can't remember where I live."

Not to be outdone, my other friend pulled out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $50 bill and stuck it on his other butt cheek.

Now the attention was focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet and thought for a minute. Then the banker in me took over. I got my ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home.

1. Sag! You're It!
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
3. 20 Questions Shouted in Your Good Ear
4. Kick the Bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
6. Doc, Doc, Goose
7. Simon Says Something Incoherent
8. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
10. Hide and Go Pee!