Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


two sperm
 
 
Two sperm are walking down the street. How do you know which one is happy?

It's the one with egg on its face!

man and life savers
 
 
Q: What's the difference between a man and a pack of Life Savers?

A: The man doesn't come in five different flavors!

dirty limerick
 
 
A man comes home to his wife, and he is chuckling. His wife asks him what is so funny.

'A limerick I heard today at work. But I can't tell you,' he says. 'It's too dirty.'

'Don't worry, I've heard them all,' she replies.

'I really can't, it's the dirtiest limerick that I have ever heard!'

'OK,' his wife says. 'How about you tell it, but substitute the word 'beep' in the place of the really dirty words.'

'Fine,' he says. 'Here goes: Beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep. Beep-beep beep beep beep, beep-beep beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep.'

deflation
 
 
A boy walks into his parents room to find his mom jumping on his dad so he runs back into his room. His mom followed him and asks, "Whats wrong, sweetie?" The boy asks, "What were you doing to daddy?" So she says, "Well sweetie you know your daddy has gotten really fat, so I was just flattening his belly for him" The boy replies, "Well what is the point if the neighbor comes over after you leave for work and blows it back up again?"

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