Men And Women jokes

Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?

Her blinker was on.

These three guys are out having a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now, one of these guys just doesn't believe it.

“OK, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.”

“Done.” Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly — and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q. All of a sudden, the guy starts to spout the solutions to mathematical problems that have stymied chemists, physicists and mathematicians since the beginning of time. The last guy is so impressed that he asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid looks at him, very concerned.

“I don't normally try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I'd really wish you'd reconsider.”

“No way. I want you to quintuple my I.Q., and if you don't, I won't set you free.”

“Please,” says the mermaid, “you don't know what you're asking... it will change your entire view of the universe...won't you ask for something else...10 million dollars, anything?” But the man remains steadfast. The mermaid sighs and says, “Done!” And he becomes a woman.

How do you know when a man's going to say something intelligent?

He starts his sentence with 'A woman told me...'

Why don't men name their penises after women?

Because they don't want a woman running their life.