Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women

riding in cars with boys
Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish i could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "i wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars.
hard drive
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A: Woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

the lady and the facelift
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, 'Sir, how old do you think I am'?

The man replies 'You're 30, right?' She says 'No, I'm 47, but nice try.'

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, 'How old do you think I am?'

The man replies, 'You're 37, right?'

The lady says 'No, I'm 47, but good guess.'

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies 'Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties.'

So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, 'You're 47!'

The lady, astonished, asks, 'How did you know?'

The old man replies 'I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.'

devil in the church
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

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