Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


the eternal optimist
 
 
Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say 'It could have been worse.' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, 'Where's Gary?'

And one of his friends said, 'Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.'

Joe says,'Well it could have been worse.'

Both his friends said, 'How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!'

Joe says, 'If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!'

bmw & a porcupine
 
 
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

honey, you belong beneath my feet
 
 
How are men and tile alike?

If you lay them right the first time, you'll be able to walk all over them for the rest of their life!

bed time
 
 
One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, 'Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!'

'No. You had your chance.'

A minute later the boy screamed 'Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?'

'No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come up there and spank you.'

'Dad! When you come up to spank me can you bring me a glass or water?'

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