Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


hand me downs
 
 
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?

A: Your jeans fit like a glove.

three men and a stripper
 
 
Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper came over to them and started to shake her ass. The first guy goes, 'Watch this,' so he licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it on her ass. The second guy goes, 'Oh yeah? Watch this,' so he takes a 100 dollar bill and licks it and sticks it on her ass. The third guy goes "That's nothing! He takes out his credit card, slides it down her ass crack and takes the money.'
final confession
 
 
Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.

She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."

"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

before it starts
 
 
A man comes home from work and sits in his recliner in front of the television.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Fifteen minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Five minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!"
"Hey, you've already had two beers in twenty minutes! Don't you think that's a lot? I'm not getting you another!"
"Now it starts."

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