Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women

park your man
How are men and parking spots the same?

All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped!

sitting at a bar...
A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends, when an exceptionally tall, handsome, sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being rude and staring, the young man said to her 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to so, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.' The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse five $20 bills, which she slowly counted into the young man's outstretched hand. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully, said 'Clean my house.'
honeymoon dilemma
A guy enters a bar and he finds a friend of his. So he sits down with his friend and tells him, 'Friend, I got a dilemma.' The friend asks him, 'What's the problem?' He says, 'Well, I went on my honeymoon and I was excited because I would make love to her for the first time.' And the friend asks, 'So what is the problem?' 'Let me finish,' says the friend. 'When the time came, my wife took out her orthopaedic leg, and put it in the closet. Then she took out her arm, and put it in the closet. Then she took out her eye, and finally took off her hair and put them both in the closet.' 'Wow,' says his friend, 'and what seems to be the dilemma?' 'Well,' says the guy, 'I don't know if I should make love to her on the bed or the closet.'
it's not for him, stupid
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

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