She rolled her eyes and said, "There comes the a**hole with flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
Her friend promptly replied, "Don't you have a vase?"
'Damn, a woman," he says. "This is going to be horrible.'
As he approaches her, he finds that she is very beautiful and figures this might not be a bad day after all. They head out to the first hole. The man looks to his partner, and says, "If I hole this putt, would you consider going out to dinner with me tonight?"
She agrees, so he lines it up, swings, and sinks it. They play a couple more holes and approach the ninth. Both are lying 3 on this long par 5 and again the man looks up to the woman before his putt.
"If I hole this putt, will you kiss me goodbye after the date?"
She says yes and he sinks the 10 footer for birdie. They approach the 17th and both are lying 2 on the par 4 hole. He looks up again.
"Will you consider coming up to my apartment if I hole this out right here?"
She says yes and he lines up the short 3-footer and right down the middle it goes. On the 18th, the woman is lying 3, about 40 feet from the hole. She looks to the man and says, "If I sink this putt, you have to screw me silly all night."
The man says yes so she lines up her putt, takes a backswing and....
"Wait, wait, wait!" the man says. "Pick it up, it's a gimme."
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No, thanks. I'm just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this!!!
6. Oh, the size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. That's okay. You don't have to wrap it, I'll eat it here!
4. Will you model this for me?
3. Miracle what? This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks?! You're just going to end up naked anyway!
1. And the thing a man should never, ever under any circumstances say out loud in Victoria's Secret: Oh, honey, you'll never get your fat ass into that!
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