Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


six most important men in a woman's life
 
 
THE DOCTOR because he says 'take your clothes off.'
THE DENTIST because he says 'open wide.'
THE HAIR DRESSER because he says 'do you want them teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says 'do you want it in the back or in the front?'
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says'once it's in you'll love it.'
THE BANKER because he says 'if you take it out too soon you'll lose interest."
the businessman's lucky seat
 
 
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

He coolly replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you."

let's live on love
 
 
A couple decides to get married, despite the fact that the woman doesn't know how to cook at all. After all, he says, they can live on love. After the honeymoon is over, the man goes back to work. One day, he calls from work and asks if his new wife could make some dinner. Knowing full well that she doesn't cook, she asks if they can make love instead. The man agrees, and soon arrives home to find his wife sliding repeatedly down the bannister.

"What are you doing?" he asks, concerned.

"Oh, silly," she says. "I'm warming up your dinner!"

sharing an order
 
 
There was an elderly couple that went to McDonald's. They ordered one cheeseburger, one large fry, one large drink, and an extra large soda. When the old couple sat down, the man sitting next to them watched the old man cut the burger in half, taking half of the fries and giving his wife half, and pouring the soda in the extra cup he ordered.

The man at the next table was confused, so he went over there and told the couple that if they couldn't afford a meal for each of them, he would be happy to pay for it. The old man shook his head and told him that there was no need because he and his wife had shared everything for the last 40 years.

The man went back to his seat and then he saw the old man eating while the old woman just sat there doing nothing.

He went over to them again and asked the old lady why she wasn't eating.
She said, "Well, it's his turn to use the teeth."


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