Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


poor couple
 
 
A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, 'I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.'

The woman replied, 'Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?'

The man replied, 'No, I'm turning the heat off.'

shaky arms hotel
 
 
A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.  Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager.  The manager says he'll be right up.  The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife.   Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

water in the carbeurator
 
 
A wife comes home and tells her husband, “Dear, something is wrong with my car. It's got water in the carbeurator.”

The husband replies, “That's not possible.”

The wife insists, “Well, it has water in the carbeurator.”

“You cannot have water in the carbeurator,” says the husband.

“Well,” says the wife, “my car has it.”

The husband gets up and sighs, “OK, fine. Where is the car?”

The wife points toward the backyard, “In the swimming pool.”
miracle drug
 
 
So this lady goes to her doctor and explains that her husband can't get it up like he used to and their sex life is suffering. The doctor asks, "Have you heard of a new drug named Zyban?" The lady says yes, but adds that her husband refuses to take pills of any kind, and certainyl won't take anything that "will make him feel like less of a man." The doctor advises the woman to slip it into his morning coffee when he isn't looking. The woman is nervous, but the doctor insists, "it will cange your life within a day," os she figures she'd better try it.

A week goes by and the lady shows back up at the doctor's office and the doctor asks her how it went. The lady heaves a tremedous sigh and explains, "I snuck it into his coffee like you said. And, sure enough, within 15 minutes, he cleared off the table, threw me on it and we had the best sex we'd had in 20 years." Perplexed, the doctor asks, "What's wrong with that?" And the lady schakes her head and says, "I don't think i'll be able to show my face at McDonalds again."


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