Men And Women jokes

Q: What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A: You mean there IS a difference?

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and he asks, "Where are you going?" he asked.

"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!"

The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.

"Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year!"

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, because they never get the house!

Her version: Oh did I mention or did I not? Well doesn't matter now, I already started talking. Jane came over, while I was having a cup of coffee. I didn't even sugar the coffee. By the way did you notice that I lost 10 pounds? No, you didn't notice, you never notice. Anyway she came over and wore an ARTIFICIAL wig. I mean isn't that awful? An ARTIFICIAL wig? I mean her husband could buy a real one with his money, but I didn't say anything, it's none of my business. I asked her how much weight she lost and she said she lost 20 pounds. Yeah, right, like I can see, I have eyes you know. Oh did I say why I asked her that? Because we follow the same diet, and you don't know that. Well, anyway, we sat down and had a cup of coffee.
His version: Jane came over for a cup of coffee.