Men And Women jokes

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." -- Erica Jong

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." -- Rita Rudner

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." -- Dolly Parton

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." -- Wendy Liebman

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth to." -- Erma Bombeck

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them." -- Sue Grafton

"I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead." -- Sue Kolinsky

"I think -- therefore I'm single." -- Lizz Winstead

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda Radner

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -- Maryon Pearson

"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." --- Bella Abzug

"In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man; If you want anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." -- Gloria Steinem

"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee

"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." -- Gloria Steinem

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." -- Katharine Hepburn

A. Eat, drink, and be Mary!

One day the guy asks Tyra to dress in his clothes and meet him on the other side of the island. Tyra is taken aback by the request, but eventually decides there is no harm in it and agrees. She waits for him on the beach, and he soon arrives. He runs up to her, breathless and excited.

"You'll never believe who I have been screwing!"