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the little girl and the wrinkles
 
 
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.

Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.

"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.

"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.

"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days, isn't He?"

botched robbery
 
 
Two guys are committing a robbery. One of them is inside getting the money, the other is waiting in the getaway car. The man in the car is nervous because his partner hasn't come out yet.
Finally, the doors of the bank burst open... out comes the partner, lugging a large safe tied up with a rope. As they are getting in the car, the doors to the bank burst open a second time. The security guard comes out. His pants are around his ankles, and he is shooting his gun at the two men in the car.
The man who was in the getaway car starts yelling at his partner: “I knew you'd mess up! You always mess up! I told you to BLOW the SAFE and TIE UP the GUARD!”
top ten reasons for being english
 
 
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup
2. Proper beer
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules for cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
5. Union Jack Underpants
6. You can live in the past and imagine that you're still a world power
7. You can bathe once a week whether you need to or not
8. You can change your underwear once a week whether you need to or not
9. Beats being Scottish
10. Beats being Welsh
knock knock... katmandu
 
 
Knock knock
Who's there?
Katmandu
Katmandu who?
Katmandu what Catwoman wants!

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