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the dentist
 
 
There once was this Vietnam vet who still occasionally had very vivid flasbacks. The man worked as a dentist and one day, he was doing a normal check-up, when a flashback hit him. He went crazy and repeatedly stabbed the patient. Needless to say, he was fired and needed another job.
The vet tried to think of places that wouldn't ask too many questions, so he walked down to the local McDonald's and applied for a position. They hired him and the first few weeks went well. But one day he was cooking a cheeseburger when another flashback hit him and he stabbed the hamburger into pulp. One of his co-workers turned and asked him with one question: “Are you a dentist?”
cruel joke
 
 
What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer!

late cannibal
 
 
Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder!

things you don't want to hear in an elevator
 
 
5. Does this look infected to you?
4. Would you believe these pants are reversible?
3. The acoustics in this elevator are perfect for yodeling.
2. I'm not just a Jehovah's Witness. I also sell insurance.
1. Just ignore Duke. We're going to have him fixed soon.

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