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nursing home chit chat
 
 
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.

"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another contributed.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

Then there was a short moment of silence.

"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."

pea soup vs. roast beef
 
 
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?

A: Anyone can roast beef!
you're so stupid
 
 
You're so stupid, you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!
dial-a-rooster?
 
 
What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?

A thirty foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.

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