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knock knock... old lady
 
 
A) Knock knock

B) Who's there?

A) Old Lady

B) Old Lady, who?

A) I didn't know you could yodel!

baking blondes
 
 
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"

The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"

They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

what do you call a mushroom...
 
 
What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?

Fungi to be around!

the retirement party
 
 
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff "miss" him.

Most people are writing standard phrases like, "Without you, the company will never be the same,"

"We will always remember you," etc.

Obviously the boss was not satisfied. "I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?"

Slowly but firmly, John wrote, "THE BEST NEWS IN 20 YEARS."


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