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stop tailgating
 
 
A modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra.
"Yes ma'am," said the clerk. "I'm quite certian that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?"
"Braille," she replied.
top 10 ways to insult the elderly
 
 
1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them.

2: For their birthday, you offer to help them blow out the candles.

3: On their birthday, you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, don't water it down, because soggy cake is no good.

4: Explain to them that the reason that no one can see the Christmas tree is because you put on every ornament that they got in their life.

5: Ask them if they got Columbus' autograph.

6: Tell them that the reason that they got no birthday gifts was that everyone had to pitch in to buy the candles.

7: Ask them if the Disney hit Hercules is telling the truth.

8: Ask them in what order God REALLY made the Earth.

9: Ask them if they helped God write the Bible.

10: Ask them if they personally knew Adam and Eve.
hypertext is funny!
 
 
Why do they call it hyper text?

Too much JAVA.
knight on a dog
 
 
One day the king of a fairly large country was greeted by a tiny knight. The knight told him the story of how he escaped a battle with a dragon, but his small horse had been killed. He begged the king for a horse, and the king was more than happy to offer him one. The problem, however, was that the knight was too small for the horses the king had. Finally, the king decided to give him a trained Great Dane to ride on. When he presented the Great Dane to the knight, the knight was horrified. He exclaimed, “You would send a knight out on a dog like this?”

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